


Fake It

by laireshi



Category: Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Homophobic Villain, M/M, News Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: “Is it true you and Captain America are dating?” the journalist asked.Tony gave her his most charming smile. “Captain America likes to keep his life private,” he said. “But he knew who I was when he kissed me.” Another fake, wide smile. “We’re very happy.”





	Fake It

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted as a fill for "canon: ultimates" on my stony bingo card on [my tumblr](https://laireshi.tumblr.com/post/147822633517/ults-stevetony-fake-dating) a year ago. I finally cleaned it up. 
> 
> While the villain is homophobic, none of the characters even marginally agree with that.

“Mister Stark, a question?!” a journalist called. Tony turned away from where S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were putting a pair of mutants the Ultimates had just subdued into power dampening cuffs.

“Sure, darling.”

“Is it true you and Captain America are dating?” the journalist, a young black woman, asked.

Tony gave her his most charming smile. “Captain America likes to keep his life private,” he said. “But he knew who I was when he kissed me.” Another fake, wide smile. “We’re very happy.”

“Are—”

“Sorry, that’s enough questions for now,” Tony said. “Love’s waiting.” He tilted his head towards Steve before walking to stand next to him. 

“Get us home,” Steve said and Tony obligingly put his arm around him before flying up. He kept Steve safe with him, their bodies pressed together. Thor followed after them.

Tony set Steve down when they were back in the Mansion, out of sight. Certain no one who didn’t already know the truth was listening, he said, “So, that should’ve done it.”

“ _I_ kissed you, Stark?”

 _No_. And not because Tony wasn’t willing, either.

“I kiss everyone, darling, no one would’ve thought much of that,” Tony said. He went to pour himself a drink. He would need a lot more of these in the near future.

“Tony has a point,” Thor declared, and as if to prove it, he kissed Tony on the cheek before leaving the room. Tony beamed at him. Thor was his favourite.

If one didn’t count Steve, at least.

“You came out in college,” Steve said, “if that mutant _is targeting_ —”

“No _if_ about it,” Tony said seriously. There were too many reports of LGBT people being kidnapped to be experimented on. “He’s homophobic and insane; what better way to catch his attention than debauching the national icon?”

“I don’t like being played with, Stark,” Steve growled. “If it’s just your game to get—”

Tony turned on him. “I don’t have to lie to you to get laid, Rogers,” he spit out.

But he was lying. He could’ve asked any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to pretend to date Steve. But Steve was . . . still weirdly vulnerable, about it, after Gail and Jan; Tony had wanted to make sure he knew where the boundaries were.

Steve would laugh him off, if he knew.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Tony said, “this sounds like an excellent afternoon to get drunk in my lab.”

Since he couldn’t actually seduce any model and pretend it made him feel less lonely now. 

Steve didn’t stop him.

***

“You were right,” Steve said at the breakfast, just that—but it was an apology if Tony had ever heard one.

“Well, this day deserves to be celebrated,” Tony said, moving towards the refrigerator to get some champagne. “Captain America admitting _I_ was right.”

Steve caught him by his wrist as he was passing by.

“It’s not even noon, Tony,” he said.

Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“What kind of a boyfriend would that make me?” Steve asked, and Tony suddenly was very happy he wasn’t drinking anything at the moment; he would’ve choked.

“You owe me a date just for that,” he said, “ _darling_ ,” and he could’ve sworn Steve’s eyes grew darker. It must’ve been just an illusion of light, because if not, then it was _dangerous_. “For the mission,” he added quickly. _Think of America, Cap_.

Steve let his wrist go as if burnt. “Of course.”

He left his eggs untouched.

***

On the list of things Tony Stark was sure he wouldn’t live to experience—even without the cancer in the equation—a dinner date with Steve Rogers in an elegant restaurant took the top place.

Steve opened the door for him and then pulled his chair out. He kissed Tony’s knuckles before sitting himself.

 _I’m not a dame_ was on the tip of Tony’s tongue, but he managed to bite it off every single time. If this was Steve making an effort, well . . . 

Tony wouldn’t have minded so much if it was real; he _was_ a hopeless romantic at heart. 

The dinner was, of course, exquisite, as Tony was paying for it and he wouldn’t settle for anything else.

Everything was going well, and then, as they left the restaurant and stood in the pavement, lit by the street lamps, Steve took Tony’s hands in his, leant down and kissed him.

Tony was a genius. He very rarely could say _he didn’t think_. But at that moment, he really didn’t. He acted on pure instinct.

He pulled Steve closer.

***

The picture of them kissing was on every webpage in less than five minutes.

Tony had had sex tapes leaked. He shouldn’t care about a _kiss_. And yet.

“I’m sure you caught his attention now,” Thor said, but his eyes were on Tony, as if he _knew_. 

“I’m sure too.” Tony saluted him with a glass of whiskey. 

He didn’t know where Steve was. He’d left as soon as they got back to the Mansion.

***

So apparently Captain America warranted more than a mere kidnapping. For him the mutant, whoever he actually was, Tony didn’t want to know, came out of the hiding.

So much the better.

Steve had handled himself just fine in the three minutes before Tony arrived, armoured up and carrying Steve’s shield, Thor on his heels. Their back-up really wasn’t necessary. A guy was already lying at Steve’s feet, his face bloody. Tony couldn’t make himself feel sorry for him.

“You’re a sin—” He tried to yell. 

Steve kicked him in his head, silencing him. Tony ran a scan just in case, but the man was alive. For all the good that it’d do him.

“I’ve heard he was superpowered,” Tony muttered. “Cap, are you okay?”

Steve shrugged. “He was stronger than your average criminal.”

More resilient, too, Tony thought, if he’d gone hand-to-hand with Cap and was still able to insult him in the end. A complete maniac.

“That’s it, then?” Tony asked. “I’ll get S.H.I.EL.D.”

Steve nodded, but he wasn’t looking at Tony.

***

Tony was happily getting drunk.

A part of this sentence was not true, but he rarely was honest even to himself. He was holding a drink, though.

Everything had gone well. A rare occurrence for the Ultimates. And yet . . . 

“I’m not a coward, Stark,” Steve said, barging into Tony’s room. 

“Ever heard of knocking, darling?” Tony drawled.

 _That_ stopped Steve short.

“You said I kissed you,” Steve said. “That that’s how we started dating.”

Tony took a drink. “I said so. It was a lie. As we both know, so really, what’s the issue here?”

Steve stepped in Tony’s direction. Tony barely had time to set his glass away before Steve hauled him up from his bed and kissed him.

Very thoroughly.

Tony had not expected this.

“You could’ve done it before, darling,” he said. “Or preferably, _again_.”

Steve obeyed an order, for once, and did just that.


End file.
